The Pain of Moving On
by Faith.may
Summary: This story is currently being rewritten. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to it.
1. Meeting the Group

**Author's note**

** I do not own the Walking Dead, but I do own my OC. Please don't steal her I worked hard on making her. I hope y'all love the chapter! Just so y'all know, I will mostly update every two weeks. I hope y'all will take the time to review. I would LOVE some feedback! Thanks for reading my fan-fiction! =)**

Chapter 1

I was never to type of girl who would hide, weep, and lose themselves during a frightening time, but there I was, hiding, and trying not to cry with a dagger griped tightly in my hands. I had gone through all the supplies when I heard the noise. It was small so I didn't worry about it at first. As the moments ticked by, I began to hear voices outside the old store's walls. I couldn't make out what they were saying over the loud beating of my heart. _People are bad news. I can't let them find me. I can't. _

After eyeing the store, I ducked under an old desk and pulled out my dagger. It had a swilling fire design engraved into the wood handle that continued to the sharp medal of the blade. I sat completely still, barely allowing myself to breathe. My eyes slowly slide shut as I use my sense of hearing to track the people as they search the old store. I hear a gruff voice call an all clear call and the two people gather in the room. I can see their feet from where I'm hiding.

"Did ya find anything?" the gruff voice says.

"No Daryl. I didn't, but it looks like someone has lived here," a woman's voice says. "I found some things in the upper level that weren't covered in dust. It wasn't anything we needed, just some books, drawings, and pictures."

"It's fine Michonne, let's move out," Daryl's voice is quiet. _Can this be Daryl Dixon? Is this that man who lived just down the road from me, before? _While I'm deep in thought, I slip up. My hand falls, causing my knife the scrape the floor with a loud sound. Before I can even begin to worry about the noise, a long sharp sword finds its tip on my neck.

"Come out. Move slowly and don't try anything funny unless you want your head rolling cross the floor." I do as she tells me to do, and slowly move to stand in front of the woman. She still has her long sword resting on my neck. "You're just a kid." I let my eyes meet hers for just a moment then I move to look at the ground. Her sword moves from my neck and I watch as she puts it in a holder on her back. Michonne and Daryl share a quick glance before turning to me.

"How many walkers ya killed?" Daryl asks me. I look up, meeting his eyes. That's when I know. This is Daryl Dixon. The redneck man with a messed up brother named Merle. They used to live down the road from me… before.

"I didn't keep count," I say my voice horse from not talking in months.

"How many people have you killed?" asks Michonne.

"Just one, I only killed one person."

"Why?" Daryl asks.

"He tried to… to… h-hurt someone… someone I loved," I stumble, my voice cracking. Out of the corner of my eye I see Daryl and Michonne share another look.

"Do you want to come back with us? We have food, water, and we're safe from the walkers. We live in a prison a little ways north from here."

"Are y'all sure?" I ask. When they both nod I say, "Ok I'll come just let me pack my things."

I head to the stairs, taking them two at a time. When I make it to the top, I begin to toss my things into my bag. My hand pauses over a picture of my broken family, and the thought of my maw and Bells brings tears to my eyes. _Come on, Faith. You can't do this now, you need to hurry and leave. _I quickly look away and gently place the frame in my bag under some of my clothes. I run about the room grabbing everything I own now days and tossing them in. I'm done packing in about five minutes, and walk outside into the hot summer air.

Daryl is standing watch outside the van with his crossbow, while Michonne is waiting in the driver's seat. The van is brown with dirt covering it and blood on the wheels. There is no way to tell if the blood is from a walker or a human. Daryl looks up at me and his eyes land on the bow on my back. I had the bow back before this all started. I had used it to hunt.

"Ya ready to go, girl," Daryl says breaking me from my trance. I scowl at him, which makes him grin.

"My names not girl, its Faith, ya got that Dixon." His eyes widen.

"Do I know you?"

"Yep, ya only lived down the road from me my whole life." I watch as his face fills with knowing and he kicks the dirt.

"Sorry ya just look so different, now. So how old are ya, anyways?"

"I'm fifteen."

"Are you two coming or are we going to sit here as day while you guys talk?" Michonne calls from the van. She's hanging out from the window with a small smile playing on her face. I don't think I'll ever get used to all the grins and smiles. Daryl turns to me.

"Faith, ya ready to go?"

"One minute, I need to do something real quick." I don't wait to see him nod his head. I pull out a silver dog whistle that hangs from chain on my neck and blow twice. I almost smile thinking about Kiba racing toward the sound of his whistle, almost.

Kiba is more than a dog, he's also part wolf. Kiba's mother had been a huge white wolf with blue eyes, and his father had been an average sized husky that also had blue eyes. My maw and I found Kiba's mom out in the woods. She had been shot and left to die. I remember grabbing up the unconscious wolf and running with her all the way back to the house, so that my maw could do her thing. She had worked as a vet at our nearby zoo before everything fell apart.

I heard Daryl gasp as Kiba ran up and sat beside me. _This must look pretty weird to him._ I knew that the sight before Daryl would shock him. I mean it would shock anybody. There I stood with a wolf sitting next to me, and his huge head laying on my shoulder. Kiba's white coat brushes up ageist me when I turn to face the others.

When I see them, the first thing I want to do is laugh. Their jaws have dropped open. I open my mouth, knowing what I need to say. "If I come with y'all, Kiba comes too." I wave my hand toward Kiba when Michonne's eyebrow shoots up in an unspoken question. "Kiba's been with me since before and we stick together."

"Ok. Hop in," Michonne says after a minute.

* * *

As we pull up to the gates of the prison, I can see people, more people than I've seen since the world went crazy. Some are eating, while others pass out food. A few are just walking around in the sun, and some of those that are done eating are helping clean up. Everyone looks up when the van pulls through the gates and a group of about six walk up to the van when it stops. A younger looking blond is holding a baby. _A baby, they have a baby? _

Michonne and Daryl steps out of the van and I can hear them talking to one of the men that have gathered.

"We got some things in the back, but Rick there's something you need to know."

"What?" the man asks. _Rick, his name is Rick, _I tell myself.

"We picked up someone we found. She's in the van. Just so ya don't freak, she brought her dog and it may look like a wolf."

"Ok, tell her to come out." Daryl turns and nods at me. I slowly stand; I have no idea why I'm so worried. I sigh as my feet hit the ground and click my tongue. Kiba is instantly by my side. I raise my head to look Rick in the eyes. I barely manage to stop my gasp as he shoots out a hand for me to shake. I reach out my hand and lightly grip his larger one.

"My name's Rick. What's your name?"

"Faith," I say plainly. I see an older man step up to me. He has a long beard and his hair is white. His eyes are very kind and a small smile creeps on to my face. I can see that the lower part of one of his legs is gone.

"My name's Hershel. Faith, do you happen to be a woman of faith or is faith just a name?"

"I was a woman of faith," I say looking at my feet, "but I don't think I even know what that means anymore."

"Let's go for a walk. We can talk a little and maybe you can begin to remember what it means again."


	2. The First Day

Chapter 2

By the time I'm done talking to Hershel, the sun has set. I carefully walk over to the closest watch tower and slip in. I climb the concrete stairs and peek in to make sure that this one is not in use. When I don't see anyone, I step inside with Kiba at my heels. I quickly close the door, and then I delicately place my bag on the floor and take my bow from behind my back. My hands fly through my bag grabbing a pair of PJs I had found at the last clothing store I stopped at. When I am dressed, I lay down placing my head on Kiba's warm body. Before I allow my eyes to close I grip my dagger tight to make sure I have it.

I scream as I wake up. I knew this was coming. It's the same dream every night. I see my maw, but when I run to her she turns and tries to kill me. My sister's there too, and my older brother. By the end of the dream, I'm cornered by everyone I know. My sister is the one to end it all for me.

The watch tower is suddenly full of hot suffocating air, and I can't breathe. I feel my eyes start to burn from unshed tears, but I refuse to cry. _I haven't cried since the night everything changed, and I am not about to cry now. I just need some air. _

I quietly sit up from my makeshift bed and try not to make a sound as I close the door behind me. I rush down the stairs, almost falling, as I dart to the farthest corner of the prison yard and drop to my knees. I breathe deeply and look up at the stars. I have managed to push back the tears, at least for now. I close my eyes and allow myself to talk to a mother that can no longer hear me.

"I'm so sorry, maw. It's all my fault. I told ya I'd protect her, I said I'd keep her safe. I'm so sorry, maw. I tried, I really did, but they got her. They got Bells and it's all my fault. If I had j-just done something more, I may have been able to save her. If you were still here, Bells would be too. I wasn't able to do anything, but if you had been there, she would have been ok. We needed you, Bells needed you. You left us all alone, with no one but each other. Maw she didn't need me, she never needed her sister. She needed her mother and you weren't there! Maw how is that fair? Tell me how a little girl and a soft-hearted, caring mother c-can d-die and how I'm still here. I n-need you and Bells. I don't know what to do now, maw. I don't know what to do." I can feel the trail of tears running down my cheeks, but I don't move to wipe them away. I let everything I've been holding back claw its way to the surface. I tremble as my body is rocked with violent sobs. I open my eyes to whisper to the night sky.

"I miss you maw. I just wish I could leave these people, but I know you would want me to give them a chance so I will. I'll make ya a deal, I will stay for a week then I will make the decision to stay or go. I need to go back, maw. Kiba will worry if he wakes up and I'm not there. Love ya maw, night."

I stand up and my knees pop. I start to walk back where I'm sleeping, when I catch a small movement by the fence. I quietly make my way to the fence, only to stop with I see a small blond girl. She doesn't look that old. She's holding a large rat in one of her hands and a flashlight in the other. _What is she doing? _Just as I finish my thought I see her push the rat through the fence to a nearby walker. I watch in disgust as the walker begins to feast on the rat. The girl doesn't even blink. She lets go of the now dead rat and lets the uneaten part of its brown body fall to the ground. She smiles and begins to talk.

"That's all you wanted isn't it, Nick. You just wanted some food."

_This girl's crazy! She's insane! She'll kill us all! _I begin to back away from the girl, making sure she can't see me. I use the darkness as a cover as I make my way back to my tower. Only when I am safely in the tower, do I let myself think about what I just saw. _That girl was feeding the walkers! What have I gotten myself into!_

I didn't sleep that night. I sat with my back to the door and my dagger gripped tightly in my hands watching Kiba's breaths move his fur up and down. I told myself I would leave in the morning. I would go out on a run and never come back. That's what I planned to do it least.

I jump as someone knocks at the door be hide me.

"Who is it? What do you want?" I call out harshly.

"My name's Carl. My dad, Rick, sent me to get you. Everyone is eating."

"Fine, I'm coming." _I'll just stay to eat, and then I'll go. _I think to myself, my hunger coming before my prevalently thought plan. I slowly open the door swinging my bag over my shoulders along with my bow. As I step down the first stair, I call Kiba.

"You don't need all of your things. You're just going to eat. It not like anything is…" Carl trails off when he catches the glare I'm sending his way. _This boy has had it too easy of he thinks nothing will happen, something always happens. He needs to learn that before it's too late._

We walk in silence from then on, and that is just fine with me. I hate people, especially people like him. People like him act as if they know everything and they really know nothing. I once knew a guy like him. In fact, I dated that jerk, and I will never make the same mistake again.

I am snapped out of my thoughts when a voice calls my name. I look up to see an older woman walk up to me.

"Are you Faith?" she asks.

"Yep," I say, popping my 'p'.

"Rick told me to show you around. I'm Carol." She then turns to look at two young girls that were standing beside her. "This is Lizzie and Mika."

_That is the same girl from last night, Lizzie. _


	3. Dealing with the Pain of the Past

**Author's note**

** I know I'm a few days late on my update. I'm so sorry! I have been really busy, but I'm hoping to get more writing done soon. In this chapter you will learn A LOT more about Faith and her past. I hope y'all like it and I hope y'all will read my other story (I think my other one is better than this one). Please Review! I LOVE feedback! Anyway on to the replies and the chapter!**

**Replies to Reviews**

Soda and PopTarts- **Thank you so much! I will try to do better on the grammar. It means more than you know that you love my story!**

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Chapter 3

Dealing with the Pain of the Past

"Are you okay?" Lizzie asks me. _I have to lie. I can't let them know what I saw, not now._

"Yeah I'm fine. It's just that you look a lot like someone I knew, before," I tell her slowly looking at the ground.

I flinch when Carol lays her hand on my shoulder. "Lizzie, Mika, why don't y'all go play with the other kids," she tells the smaller girls.

"Can I please play with Faith and her dog, please?" Mika asks sweetly. When I see that Carol is going to tell her no, I speak up.

"I would love to spend some time with a sweet little girl like you, but I haven't eaten. If you let me eat, I'll find you when I'm done and we can hang out. Does that sound good to you?"

Mika nods her head happily while her blond hair bounces. "Yeah, then we can get to know each other. I love your dog! He is so cute! I'll see you when you're done eating!" I find a small smile creeping on to my face. _I forgot how much I love sweet kids. _

"So do you want me to show you around now or later?" Carol asks me.

"Do you mind if I find you after I hang out with Mika?"

"Sure. Just come find me when you're ready."

After I'm done eating, I start wandering around looking for Mika. I may or may not be lost. _How big is this place? I think I've been walking in circles. _ I was just about to turn around when I hear a baby crying. _Why is the baby crying? What's going on?_ I run toward the sound of the young child's screams with Kiba on my heels.

I round a corner to see the blond girl I saw when I first got here trying, and failing, to calm a small crying bundle in her arms.

"Judith, please settle down. Shhh, it's ok. Everything is just fine."

I walk up to the girl. "Let me try. I'm good with babies," I tell her. She smiles and thanks me, handing me the baby. I begin to gently rock her as I sing her the lullaby that I used to sing my little sister, "_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I need you please don't take my sunshine away. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I miss you please bring back my sunshine today. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away." _By the end of the gentle song, Judith is fast asleep in my arms. She is breathing calmly and there is a peaceful smile on her face. _She looks so much like Bella when she's asleep._

"How did you do that? I've been trying for an hour to put her down, and you just take her for a second and she's out," the blond girl whispers to me quietly.

"Like I said before, I'm good with babies," I whisper back with a shrug. "Who are you anyway? Are you Judith's mom?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you were new. My name is Beth and no. I'm not her mother."

"Then who's her mom and where is she?"

"You know Rick, right?" I nod. "Well, her mom was Rick's wife. Her name was Lori."

I lock eyes with Beth. "Rick's wife, Lori, she died. I'm right ain't I?" I lower my eyes when Beth nods her head. "Wait, so that means that Judith is Carl's little sister and that he lost his mom." Beth nods again. _So Carl lost his mom too. That must be why he acts so cold. He had to grow up to fast. Maybe I'll talk to him, so that he knows he's not the only one. Or I could just leave him be. That may be what he needs._

I look down at the little bundle in my arms. _She looks so much like you, Bella. No I can't do this! I won't do this! I will not get near someone who's just going to die! _I shove Judith in to a startled Beth's hands. Judith whines but falls right back to sleep. _I can't get close to her! I'm just going to lose her in the end! Just like everyone else!_

I turn away from Beth and run the other way. I hear her call to me and I also hear a voice that I have known for a very long time tell her to leave me be. _That was__ Daryl__'s voice. I almost forgot that he knew about Bella._

I run until my feet slip on the slick floor below me and I fall to my knees. I let myself fall, not caring at this point. I didn't get up from the cold ground. Kiba walks slowly up to me and whimpers. I gently reach out and stroke his white fur.

"She looks so much like Bella," I say to no one. At the name Bella, Kiba looks around and wags his tail. "No, boy Bella is never coming back. I'm so sorry, Kiba. If I had watched her better she'd still be here to play with you." I raise my eyes to stare at the blank wall ahead of me. "None of them are ever gonna come back."

"Who are you talking about?" a little voice says from behind me. I don't even care. I don't raise my head or move. I think I'm gonna to stop talking for a bit. I'm done hearing my voice. "Hello Faith, are you ok? It's me, Mika. Remember you said you would play with me." I tune out everything else Mika says. I don't want to listen anymore.

I don't know how long I stayed there. I lost track of time. After what felt like days, I fell asleep. That was the worst the nightmares had ever been. They felt so real. In one nightmare I shot my brother, thinking he was a Walker, and he started bleeding. Walkers don't bleed. I held him in my arms as he died slowly. The strange thing is I didn't feel anything, and that is what scares me the most.

In another one, I had to relive my mother dying and turning. I had to watch all over again as my mother tried to eat my sister and I. I had to kill her all over again.

In one of the other ones, my father was alive. It was before all of this happened, before the dead started walking among the living. In the nightmare, I came home late. I didn't want to go inside because I could hear the yells from down the road. I knew that my drunken paw was beating on my maw again. I also knew better then to just walk in the house at a time like this. So I climb the tree that was near the roof, and jump on the roof. I walk slowly to where my bedroom window is and slip through. I quietly creep to my bedroom door and down the hallway. The only thought on my mind is to get to my little sister and make sure she doesn't get in the middle of our parents fight. I walk in to her room and find her laying face-down on her bed. Her shoulders are shaking with unseen tears.

"Bella, are you ok? Did he hurt you?" I whisper. When she looks up at me, I can see the streaks of tears running down her face. I open my arms and she jumps in to them. She hides her face in my shoulder and cries while I rub calming circles on her back. "Shhh, its ok Bells. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"Can y…you s…sing to me, Sisie?" Bella says through her tears.

"Yeah, Bells. I will sing your favorite. _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I need you please don't take my sunshine away. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I miss you please bring back my sunshine today. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away._"

At the end of my song, Bells is fast asleep. _She never gets to be a child, _I thought in my dream. _ A five year old should not have to live like this._ The fighting had stopped, but then the door of the bedroom was ripped open. My father stood in the door way a bottle of booze in his hands. I saw him eye Bella hungrily and tried to hide her behind me. It didn't help. He just got angry. He ran across the room and ripped Bella from my arms. I yelled at him to stop. Told him to leave her alone and do whatever he wanted with me. I knew that he would rather have me, because of the fact I was older and, in his words, more of a woman than my sister would ever be.

**Author's Note**

** That chapter was intense. SO now we know a lot more about Faith. We know that in her past she had a little sister and an older brother. We also know that her dad was an abusive drunk that beat her, her sister, and her mom. We know that her sister and mother have died, but we have no idea what happened to her brother and father. That is a lot to learn in one chapter. Anyway please review! I would LOVE to hear your thoughts! I'll try to update soon. See y'all then!**


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